It’s Official: Cheerleading is Evil

I always knew it – cheerleaders ARE evil. What with their “spirit” and their “wanting to hear it” and the likes.

And, down in Texas, a certain state rep has his ducks all in a row – he knows what’s important, and he’s going after it: forget poverty and inequality and the terrible things happening every day all around the world. What really needs to be done here? We must put a stop to cheerleaders’ provocative dance moves!
The gyrating is just too hot and too suggestive for Al Edwards to handle, not to mention that it apparently contradicts the abstinence-only message Texans are trying to drill into their children’s heads. He wants cheerleading to go back to the days of propriety: just a bunch of cute girls dancing and bouncing and flipping around in short skirts. There was no hip gyrating in the good old days. Please, for Al’s sake, can’t we get back to the age of innocence?

I feel like somehow we’re back in the ‘50s and Elvis has just burst onto the scene, shaking his hips and driving the poor helpless young women of the world straight into the arms of the devil.

Is it just me, or are we somehow moving backwards in time?