Is Nothing Sacred?

Jellies, originally uploaded by haileydai.

Okay, so people all over the place are freaking out (again! they all
freaked out in 2003 too) about pre-teens and teens wearing jelly
bracelets. Remember these things? I wore them when I was in grade four,
along with every other girl I knew, and Madonna. Down in parts of the US,
there's been a ban on these seemingly harmless things. They apparently send sexual codes. What?
Yes.
There are different ways to decipher the codes, but here's an example:
Blue means oral sex
Black means sex
Pink means licking butt
White means lap dance.
The belief is that if young Johnny "snaps" young Judith's black jelly,
she MUST have sex with him.
I think we need to give the young people of the world some credit. I remember being 12 and this sounds very much like innocent games that felt slightly provocative at the time, but that we'd never EVER take very far.
Like "seven minutes of heaven"; remember? You'd get sent into a closet for seven minutes with someone and you'd MAYBE smootch furtively, maybe there'd be some awkward grabbing of a breast, but you'd spend most of the time giggling in the dark?
And, honestly, what the hell 12 year old wants to lick anyone's butt?
I think this is a lot of paranoia and there needs to be some serious
chilling out going on. That said, it does look like some adults are into this whole sex bracelet business.
Oh, and there's something else about banning black jellies because they
promote goth culture. Watch out! They're mobilizing to ban licorice next!!