No One Cares About Britney's Sex Life

Speechless, originally uploaded by ejshea.

Dear Britney Spears,

I think we, the media-consuming public, have lead you astray. I think we maybe misrepresented ourselves back when we made such a big fuss over you being a virgin, or not being a virgin, or whatever. I think we must have lead you to believe that our primary concern was your sex life.

I'm really sorry to have to tell you like this, but I think we don't care about your sex life anymore. I guess that when you started your show, you thought you'd try and give us what we wanted (what you thought we wanted) by going on and on and on about how much sex you have with that yeti boyfriend of yours, and how good it is and all of that. And, I really hate to say it; no one cares anymore. Your show's ratings are plummeting really quickly, Brit. They're just diving. I don't know if we even believe you about the sex: if it's really that good, would you need to go on as you do? Just asking.

I don't know what you can do about all of this, but I thought you should know. Maybe now that you know our priorities have changed, maybe you can change yours too. We seem to be really fascinated by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes right now - can you have them on your show? I hear she's a virgin, is that true?

Thanks, and good luck with your show and with the baby and all that.
Always wear shoes in public washrooms,
HD

Check out the ratings figures here, at medialifemagazine.com.